ForCC

In December 2022, I was processing the news of my grandmother CC's returning cancer diagnosis. Something began to settle inside me; the matriarchal relationship between her, my mother, and myself was more than just a defining characteristic of our family structure. It was integral to my ability to ground my Self in the world. I understand myself by understanding The Three of Us. I found a box of their collective childhood handkerchiefs that winter. As a former model and lifetime seamstress, my grandmother had an intimate and precious relationship with garments. I began to make a dress. I decided I would perform in it. I couldn't yet [still can't] define what performance really meant to me as an artist. The dress is handmade from muslin and cotton and I embroidered on their handkerchiefs. In the snow, I went to the hills of Rochdale. This was where, as an 18 year old, CC first moved by herself into the infamous Seven Sisters. It was up in the moors watching over those buildings that I performed this somatic movement piece; once, in my normal clothes, and a second time (attempting repetition of the series of movements based on muscle memory) in the Handkerchief dress. This work references 'somaesthetics' -- the bodily reflection of our internal landscapes, using somatic movement to heal psychologically and emotionally. The audio is a poem written about and for her, in reflection of the ways we carry those that have come before us; attempts to reckon with grief and death. It was set to music by a trusted friend.